Yuppee, my owner is reaching for me. Oh wait he wasn't going for me. Again abandoned in corner of the room, forgotten, just about torn to pieces, smells of mouldy blue cheese.
I was once glowing bright red with brown brim. I'm tall and wide about 21 cm because my owner stretches me. Now my owner ignores me it's like I don't even exist. Why has he left me, he got a new top hat, he called it Fred. He loves Fred, he even wears Fred at night. I feel horrible. I miss my owner.